I honestly struggle with believers who love to have pity – parties and yet cannot stand people they consider vain. In my opinion, they are just “different sides of the same coin” since they both celebrate self. I understand people who don’t have Christ as Lord in their lives loving such parties but not believers. Pity parties are celebrations of the flesh; you literally have a big “all out thing or shindig” for the flesh deliberately submerging your spirit then you come out of it hoping to feel better. It is a lie of the devil. You only feel better because you decide that you have had enough and not because the party made you feel better but you can make that decision without the pity-party. Before you start telling me how mean and uncaring I am, the reason I can be so categorical is that I have been down that road myself; so please do not waste your time or energy judging me. It won’t change my opinion, which may indeed be wrong; you are entitled to yours. Interestingly, it does not move the hand of the very compassionate God. Of course He is touched by our tears and pain but such parties do not replace our prayers neither do they make God do for us, what He won’t ordinarily do. He went through everything Himself as a man and yet did not fall prey to the flesh.
Hebrews 4: 15 “This High Priest of ours understands our weaknesses, for he faced all of the same testings we do, yet he did not sin.”
Self-pity, I have discovered, is rooted in selfishness; Pity-parties are those ones where you feel sorry for yourself enough to wallow in pity, more or less celebrating your sad feeling or the flesh. Very often, people who love to have these pities think they catch attention by having them because their unseen desire is to cause everything else to stop and all attention drawn to them until they at least get what they want but they pretend like it is a result of sincere inner sorrow or pain and that it will make them feel better. How does anyone honestly believe that they will suddenly appear high up because they spiraled downward? This is a lie of the devil which believers must stop buying. These pity-party believers act like they are victims when in truth, the people they manipulate with these parties are the victims. The party was always meant to trap someone who truly becomes their prey while they make unwittingly make themselves predators. This is craftiness, and the fact that you are not aware that it is, does not the change the fact of what it is and believe me, you can’t go forward living like that because craftiness does not permanently lift up any; if it appears to, it can only be short lived. People are bound to get tired of your pity parties and eventually begin to get angry with you as they begin to feel used.
Job 5: 12 – 13 “He frustrates the plans of schemers so the work of their hands will not succeed. He traps the wise in their own cleverness so their cunning schemes are thwarted.”
The truth is at the end of the day, the person having the pity- party has been deceived by the enemy into yielding themselves to Him. Whenever the flesh is in control, the devil is given free rein to manipulate one and accomplish His purpose in their life. These parties are very crippling; not only are they time-wasting activities, in that state one is unable to make good decisions so that every or most decision/decisions made in that state will mostly help to ruin one instead. Some have been known to cut or even do worse harm to themselves in the course of such pity parties. God is clearly not in it; He is not in anything that glorifies the flesh which said flesh contradicts the Spirit of God and will not encourage anything godly or move anyone nearer God. Indeed pity- parties are not only selfish but are the hallmark of brats who believe that life is about them and their feeling must not be ignored by any so they do anything to catch attention. Some are so used to it, they don’t even realize anymore that it is selfishness. Please do not encourage people you love to continue in it and that includes our children. To do so is in truth, not an expression of love.
Hebrews 12: 12 “So take a new grip with your tired hands and strengthen your weak knees. Mark out a straight path for your feet so that those who are weak and lame will not fall but become strong.”
1 Corinthians 10: 13 “There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it.”
It is time to grow up as believers and putting an end to pity-parties is a decision one has to make themselves. Don’t listen to people who tell you it is okay. Believers who encourage believers to have pity-parties are often needy people themselves who want you to always return to them when you are having one of such parties so they feel needed. Do not be deceived. We all go through bad times, no doubt, but you will never see “the way of escape God has made for you in that state.” If you think you can’t stop because, as many of us would like to say – “that is who I am” just to excuse our refusal to make necessary and maybe painful changes in our lives, let me assure you that you can indeed stop and you don’t need to pay for therapy to stop. The day you see how ugly it is and its true impact on your life, you will seek help from the Holy Ghost to stop. It’s a lie of the devil that tells you that you have lived too long like that and can’t change anymore. Please allow the change because you are short changing yourself. It is better for people to do things for you because they choose to and not because you manipulated them emotionally. Finally these parties kill your faith, how can you then please God?